Somewhere in America: A Social Media Rant

{insert obligatory reason why I haven't blogged in over a month here}

Now that part is out of the way...

Social media has ruined America. Before you dismiss my rant, pick a random Facebook "friend" or Twitter "follower." When was the last time you spoke to or saw this person? Hold that answer.

I'm willing to bet $5 that one of the first things you do in the morning is check your feed on a social media site. I am also willing to bet you frequently reach for your phone throughout the day to check a social media timeline or post an update. Don't feel guilty if this is true. It's the American way! But it's a gift and a curse. We have lost all sense of communication. Seeing relationship statuses change, selfie and foodie pics on Instagram, up-to-the-minute Foursquare check-ins or live tweeting a television show with others has given us a false sense of communication and keeping in touch with family/friends.

Remember the days of dropping by someone's house because you were in the area? Or the days of picking up the telephone and calling someone just to say hey? These days you send a text full of abbreviated words beginning with "WYD" and ending with "Text me if you want to hang out soon." But you both know you won't hang out anytime soon. It's more of a polite way of ending the text conversation. 

You probably know more about celebrity lives than your own relatives' lives thanks to Twitter. You know more birthdays of friends than your own family thanks to Facebook calendar. And I bet you know every step of someone's daily life thanks to status updates and tweets. You "see" people all the time, right? When in reality you only played a time-sucking game, liked a status or commented on a picture. This DOES NOT equal communication. This BARELY means you've kept in touch. Now think of the question I asked earlier in this post. Did you REALLY just speak to or see this person or was it online interaction? Hmmm...

And now Facebook has taken away all privacy rights. Surely you are not surprised. It was a long way coming. I saw the writing on the wall (pun intended) when privacy settings had to be manually updated every other week. Ain't nobody got time for that. With these privacy settings changed, even more strangers can stay abreast of your every move. So maybe now is the time to stop posting your whereabouts, every event you attend, your OOTD (outfit of the day) and a pic of every meal you eat. I promise you the event will still happen and the food will still taste yummy if you don't post about it. (And speaking of food, for goodness sakes put your phones away when sitting at a table eating dinner. You're killing the vibe. Don't be rude!)

In the words of Jay-Z, "Fuck hashtags and retweets; 140 characters in these streets." Get off your computer and enjoy real life with real people. Thank me later.

 

Grown Woman

Some days, I want to throw all sense of responsibility out of the window. Being a grown woman can be quite overwhelming. 

 

Beach is Better

That moment when you throw your hands up and say eff it. Some things just aren't worth it.

 

I'm My Only Competition

dis·ap·point·ment  /ˌdisəˈpointmənt/

The feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.

Yes, I mentally took a drive to Disappointment Ville and got comfortable. Quite frankly, I feel like a failure. It doesn't happen often but when it does...

I recently did something unfortunate that has me in a slump. No matter how many condolences, how many hugs, how many "thinking of you" or "better luck next time" texts I receive, it does not help the fact that I disappointed myself. Sure, I could blame it on the Virgo trait of being a perfectionist. I plan; I execute. Most times, all turns out exactly as planned. Then there are the rare times when the outcome goes so left, it take effort to make a U-turn and get back on the right path.

After the woe-is-me party is over and the decorations have been stowed away, the "Would've Should've Could've" thoughts kick in. I wracked my brain and there is seriously nothing different I would've, should've or could've done. Le sigh. So I guess this is the part where I tell myself everything happens for a reason, so oh well, must not have been meant to be. But it really sucks that I tried my all and didn't meet expectations.

♠ology: I'm My Only Competition

 

Fix This Beloved

Iyanla, Fix My Inability to Sleep In

Iyanla, Fix The Midwest Weather

Iyanla, Fix My Going to Target for One Item and Leaving Out with Fitty-Lem Items

I Been On

 
Color me mentally exhausted. It feels like my brain has been dipped in seasoned flour and deep fried. If I listen carefully I can hear it sizzle. 

I envy people that can easily turn their brain off and meditate. Seriously, how do you empty your mind and pause all thoughts? I've tried unplugging from the internet, turning the TV off, disconnecting the iPod and turning my iPhone on "Do Not Disturb" mode. But even with no distractions, my mind doesn't completely clear. It may sound simple to just chill, but this is something I really struggle with. 

Me: Mind, please power off.

Mind: But I been on. Tell me who gon' turn me off.

Something's got to shake. So I hereby challenge myself to NOT multi-task. Sit. Unwind. Enjoy silence. Brain, thank me later. 

Open Letter

I have a love-hate relationship with technology and social media. Privacy is not respected. Sharing is overrated and oftentimes TMI. Yet it is damn near impossible to live without online interaction. Le sigh deeply.

Happy Half-Birthday to Me

Halfway closer to being older and wiser. Halfway closer to more blessings, more lessons and mature experiences. 

Going Somewhere Nowhere Fast

What was a normal day turned into a brain splitting, nerve wracking day. This happened a few weeks ago and I'm just now calm enough to blog it out.

It started with a routine visit to my migraine specialist. I researched how botox was now FDA-approved and used for treatment of migraines. I also read an article about how dogs could be trained to alert the owner of an oncoming headache attack. I have established a good relationship with my doctor and trusted he would advise whether these new methods were worth trying. Welp, it turns out I don't qualify. Botox and alert dogs are only for those with chronic migraine.

The denial was a gift and a curse. On one hand, I should be thankful that I am not suffering or bedridden 15 days out of every month. That's half of every month spent in pain. On the other hand, I am only a few days shy, so that means I am still spending a good deal of my time in pain but not enough to allow stronger relief methods. Oh woe is fucking me.

The next stop was to my regular pharmacy to refill my prescriptions. I waved hello to the pharmacist that knows me better than some of my own acquaintances. A worried look appeared on the pharmacist's face. The friendly smile was not there. Not even the usual, "How are you?" greeting was spoken. Instead I received a tentative hello and asked if I'd heard from my insurance company yet. "Umm, no. Should I have?" And so follows the dreadful news that my medical insurance provider will no longer cover my migraine meds. But I'm more than welcome to purchase them at retail value of $1,000 or more. (,,-__-,,)

This news alone brought a migraine ON-SITE. I was directed to a chair so that I could sit down and get my bearings. But at that point, I just wanted to go home, crawl into bed, and lay in the darkness until I was well enough to call the insurance company in the morning. Surely there has been a mistake.

Another day and couple phone calls later and it was proven to be true. The insurance company needed proof that I've exhausted all other types of treatment before they continue paying for the costly cocktail that I'm now taking. Le sigh. I am not new at this migraine thing. I've been diagnosed for 26 years. I have tried any and everything by now. But to the insurance company, I'm just a name on a manila file with expensive coverage needs.

Fast forward to the present and my doctor and pharmacy worked out an alternative; although, it's not as effective. So I literally cannot afford to get a migraine. It will cost me thousands! I've been told to take it easy so it won't trigger one. This was a serious wake-up call for me to stop multi-tasking so much and slow down. Sit still. Turn my chill meter to the max. I cannot let anything worry or stress me—as if I wasn't already nonchalant enough.

 

"Taking it easy" is not simple for me. It's as if I'm on cruise control, afraid to accelerate because I will crash. I'm going somewhere nowhere fast. I'll just keep sailing my lil red boat, praying to God he will keep me afloat.