Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Sunday, March 13, 2011

I'll Be Waiting

Dear Pepsi,

It's only been four days since we last saw each other. Today was Daylight Saving Time. I could have really used your refreshing ice cold embrace to cope with the hour we lost. My meals just aren't the same without you to wash the food down. My body aches with withdrawal pains. I'm beyond thirsty and flat water just won't do. Chickadee even watches people's throats as they swallow (Sh!t My Mama Do).

Thirty-six more days until we meet again. I'll be waiting.

P.S. I went to a black funeral and you KNOW they served fried chicken. I was strong and ate the baked chicken instead. It wouldn't have tasted right anyway without you.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Take It All

Bare with me, dolls & gents. Be my strength, sweet baby Jesus. Lent has officially started (March 9 - April 17). I chose to sacrifice my top five vices:


Fried Foods 

Makeup Purchases 



I'll certainly be healthier and have a clearer mind without my liquid crack, deep fryer, and non home-cooked meals. My pocketbook will be heavier without indulging in makeup collections. But my neck? It may be tore up from scratching like a crackhead in the next 40 days. L Biggums, is that you?